Monday, January 3, 2011


is there anybody...out there?   pink floyd reference.  i was pretty annoyed when i was writing my "profile" and was so rudely notified that my brilliantly crafted essay was well over the 1,200 character limit.  really?  we only get 1,200 CHARACTERS to describe our wonderful selves?  remember when you had to write a 5 page report, and you could simply adjust the margin and font settings, and boom, 3 pages becomes 4.25 (which technically IS 5 pages)?  or was i the only one who ever did that.  i think the only report i ever wrote without tampering with the formatting was in 3rd grade when i chose to research (plagiarize encyclopedia britannica) and write about mt. st. helen's - 35 pages, double space, hand written in pencil, wide-ruled paper ---> A++ - totally bottled mrs. van maldergham's mind.

back to the theme here, i don't know. it doesn't seem like enough space.  so what's my solution - i dedicate my very first post to myself.  here are 13 things (I WANTED to share immediately) that you should know about me:

1.  i.never.capitalize. it's funny - you will probably never meet a more judgmental grammarian than myself - i just don't see the need to capitalize in cyberspace, texting, etc.  sometimes i do, when addressing people - i've been told it's a sign of disrespect to lower case someone's name.  more often than not, i just ignore the rule - depends on the situation.  i think i'm actually developing some carpel tunnels, and i feel that nixing the extra "shift" or "alt" button press might somehow slow down the impending early onset arthritis that our entire generation will be plagued with.

2.  if you fear run-on sentences and/or stream of consciousness-esque literature...just save yourself the time and trouble and turn around now.  it's ok, we wouldn't be friends anyway.

3. i am NOT racist or politically opinionated in any way shape or form.  my comments are purely observational, and stem from no harm.

4. i love my cat.  i'm not a cat person - i've never liked them - but i am head over heels obsessed with Ralph (capitalized his name :) you'll get to know him...well.

5. i have a passion for quality, non-sensical humor.  not so much bathroom humor. two and tube.

6. i simply adore my friends and family. i may or may not change names for fear of them getting mad and yelling at me.

7. my one goal in life is to open up a business.  preferably a sandwich shop, possibly with coffee and cupcakes.  i'm just not sure yet.  i have a name, but won't reveal it until i have enough funding.

8. elaborating on number 5 above, i have an uncanny talent for remembering the minutest of inconsequential material....quotes (movie, tv, viral media), trivia, names, faces, places, you name it.  it's the important stuff that gets me.

9. i'm also fantastically talented at losing stuff - keys, cats, cards, phones, patience, attention...

10. i make a lot of words up - usually by adding -ness or -esque or -ation to the end.

11.  i usually have a song running through my head.

12. i really want to meet Bret and Jemain.  but not mel.

13. as of January 3rd, 2011, at 4:46pm, i have never left this country.

seeing how this stupid site took me ALL day to create, i'm going to do some quality actual work meow.